Letters to The Doctor
by Dman5002
Summary: Welcome to my first fanfiction! It's called Letters to The Doctor. It's my first one so be nice... please review or just comment what you think! I'm not the biggest expert on doctor who so you can tell me my mistakes and I'll fix it! Thanks!
1. The First Letter

Letters to the Doctor

As I got out of bed one morning, I decided to watch some TV. I got the remote and when it did turn on, a peculiar show called Doctor Who was on. Curious of what is was, I decided to watch it, and then I was hooked. Some of you may think it was because of the action. While the action is good, I mainly watch it because of how weird the Doctor is. So here are my letters to The Doctor!

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><p>Dear Doctor,<p>

I have been watching you on television recently, and I have some questions. Let me start off with the basics.

1. WHAT THE HECK IS Raxicoricoflallapatorus or whatever the planet's name is?

2. What do you have against bread?

3. Why do you travel in what looks to me like a weird porta potty?

I'd love to hear back from you, and I will continue to watch your show.

Sincerely,

Dave

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><p>Dear Dave,<p>

Thank you for your strange interest in me, although very peculiar. Here are the answers to your rather stupid questions! (I mean, come on, it's Raxacoricofallapatorius DUH!)

1. During World War Three, it was home to the Raxacoricofallapatorians, such as Slitheen, Blathereen, and Hostereen Families.

2. It's not just the bread alone, it's also the butter. IT'S EVIL! It tried to put a curse on me! Everyone's lucky I got rid of it, or the world would be in grave danger!

3. IT'S NOT A PORTA-POTTY? WHAT'S A PORTA POTTY? HOW DOES THAT POSSIBLY LOOK LIKE A PORTA POTTY TO YOU? It's called a TARDIS and it was supposed to disguise into something in order to blend into the society, but it broke after i went to Britain in the 1950's and it's been stuck as a POLICE BOX ever since. (And I will say again you are quite an idiot!)

I hope this helps you and whatever your needs are.

Sincerely,

The Doctor

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><p>When I got a letter back from him, I was amazed. I got help sending it to him by the website. I then tracked down the TARDIS location by the e-mail and sent it there! Luckily at the time he was at the current date! I have more I hope to send to that crazy man.<p>

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><p><strong>This is my first Fanfiction so don't be mad at me! Please Review!<strong>


	2. The Green Flashlight Thingy?

Letters to the Doctor

After the last letter, I decided to write a second one. The Doctor seemed to cooperate quite well, minus the part where he **CALLED ME AN IDIOT!** But this time I had to send it to him by e-mail… I think it's weird how he has an email, but hey, it's the doctor, right? Here's my second letter:

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><p>Dear Doctor,<p>

Thank you for responding to my last letter. I know can spell out Raxacoricofallapatorius when Spell Check is on! I have a few more questions that I need answered, and I hope you would be so kind to answer them! Here they are:

1. What is that green flashlight thingy that goes WEOP WEOP WEOP WEOP all the time that you use for just about everything?

2. What are those weird robots with the funny voice that always say "EXTERMINATE" and then electrocute people with their weird toilet plungers?

3. Could you send me one of those water zombies from The Waters of Mars (back when you were in your 10th regeneration) to me as a pet? But be careful to send him in a cage that can drain water or something.

4. How come you used to generate into old dudes back in your 1st through 8th generations and now from 9th to 11th you look much younger?

5. Who is that annoying robot thing that looks like some sort of dog who got caught in a robot creator or something?

6. Is there a reason that makes you so crazy?

If you could answer these, that'd be great (again)!

Sincerely,

Dave (That guy you called an idiot)

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><p>Dear Dave,<p>

I will gladly answer your questions. I'll have to hurry because I'm um… making cookies. (It's not someone trying to take over the world or anything!)

**1. IT'S A SONIC SCREWDRIVER IT'S MY OWN INVENTION! **It is used for hacking things or unlocking things. It is a very useful tool when someone is locked out (as long as its not a dead lock) or if you are in a need of quick cash!

2. Those creatures are called Daleks. They are not robots; they just have a hard shell with a forcefield around them. They have no feelings or emotions and they believe it is necessary to exterminate life and whole plants. They do not have toilet plungers (again, quite stupid prediction!) they are weapons. Very dangerous weapons at that.

3.** NO! NEVER! **Those creatures could wipe out the whole human race! JUST ONE DROP COULD KILL US ALL! YOU CAN'T JUST **FILTER** THEM! WHAT IN THE WORLD MADE YOU THINK YOU COULD KEEP ONE AS A PET?

4. One answer – It changes with the ladies ;) (And I'm not lying… ok maybe a little…)

**5. EXCUSE ME? THAT IS MY DOG K-9!**

6.**WHAT? I'm CRAZY? YOU'RE CRAZY! YOU THOUGHT THE DALEKS HAD TOILET PLUNGERS! IT MAKES SENSE TO GO WITH MY PORTA POTTY TARDIS! AND IT'S NOT A FLASHLIGHT IT'S A SONIC SCREWDRIVER! **And I won't even mention the fact you wanted one of those water creatures? And you thought it was a zombie? Whatever!

It was a joy talking to you. I hope in your next letter you will be slightly smarter.

Sincerely,

The Doctor

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><p>Well, that was weird! But at least I learned something… I still think that TARDIS is a porta-potty….. After that I was already started on my third letter. But this time I had harder questions in mind….<p>

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><p><strong>Leave your reviews below and be sure to give me suggestions and feedback, or just comments!<strong>


	3. FEZZES ARE COOL!

Letters to the Doctor

I sat back in my chair in my bedroom and thought about what the Doctor had said. His answers led to more questions, which led to more questions, which led to MORE AND MORE AND MORE! So I decided to write YET ANOTHER letter to the Doctor.

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><p>Dear Doctor,<p>

I have been thinking so hard about your answers that I have questions involving your answers, and I will ask them in a smarter way this time.

1. Does your dog K-9 poop out nuts and bolts like Goddard did in Jimmy Neutron?

2. Are you an actual Doctor? Or are you like those people who want to sound cool?

3. Does your Sonic Screwdriver ACTUALLY work as a screwdriver?

4. How come you have two hearts? Do you even have a girlfriend? Or a boyfriend considering you've kissed Jack before?

5. What are those silver dudes that look like an off brand of C3PO from Star Wars called?

6. Can I have a fez? Fezzes are cool!

As you wished, I answered them with more thought. I will have much more to ask you soon.

Sincerely,

Dave

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><p>Dear Dave,<p>

You put no intelligence into these questions at all (except for the sixth one) . They are answerable, but only because they are truly stupid.

1. **WHAT? POOP OUT NUTS AND BOLTS? AND GODDARD WAS NEVER A ROBOTIC DOG! JIMMY NEUTRON IS AN AMERICAN KIDS TELEVISION SHOW, NOT REALITY! HOW DO YOU COME UP WITH THESE THINGS?**

2. Of course I'm a real doctor! Why wouldn't I be! (Well technically no, but I am still LIKE one in ways…)

3. Why wouldn't it? It's a Sonic **SCREWDRIVER**!

4. I have two hearts because I'm a timelord. I was born with two. And **NO! NO! NO NO NO! No boyfriend! No girlfriend but that can change in a matter of time, can't it?**

5. **WHAT IS A C3PO? HOW COULD THEY POSSIBLY BE IN ANY RELATION TO STAR WARS? TAKE MY ADVICE DAVE AND GET HELP! YOU NEED IT!**

6. Why I'm glad you asked! Sadly I am unable to get back to you with the fez at this time, but I will most certainly try! Finally, someone believes fezzes are cool! WOO HOO! :)

I'd tell you you're stupid, but the last question but me in a good mood. I'll be glad to answer more questions! And I'll get you that fez in around five minutes!

Sincerely,

The Doctor

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><p>After that message, I knew I had to write more. And I COULDN'T WAIT FOR THAT FEZ! But in current time it still hasn't come… But this time I had to think of more questions. Something hit me, something amazing. I couldn't wait to ask him, but only time will tell ;)<p>

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><p><strong>(REVIEW AND ILL GIVE YOU A COOKIE IN FIVE MINUTES!)<strong>


	4. Human Shamwow?

Letters to the Doctor

(As explained last chapter…) After I had finished writing the last letter to the Doctor, I had a great question come to mind that I couldn't WAIT to ask him! So I wrote up another letter full of questions, but this one was on the top!

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><p>Dear Doctor,<p>

Thank you for accepting my offer and coming to get me a fez! I will be greatly honored when I see your TARDIS (trying **HARD** not to say porta-potty) in my backyard. I have a huge question to ask you that I just couldn't figure out, and it's not about something you did, it's a choice someone ELSE made… Here they are!

1. **WHY THE HECK DID THE FINAL LIVING HUMAN GET SO MUCH PLASTIC SURGERY SHE LOOKS LIKE A USED UP WRINKLEY SHAM WOW? **(A shamwow is a brand of thin shammies that are a major rip off)

2. What are those cute little statues that cover their eyes up all the time, but when they don't have their eyes covered, they look like they want a hug? My sister says they kill you in milliseconds when you look them in the eyes or something like that (I don't understand some of it) but to me that's like saying the Statue of Liberty is about to design a nuclear missile!

3. Is there a way I could get my own TARDIS? PLEASE?

4. Why do Daleks (without the armor or whatever it is) look like innocent squid things? It seems weird seeing those things try to take over the world without the armor… nobody would take them serious right?

5. How come whenever your TARDIS_ seemingly_ catches on fire it can repair itself on its own?

6. If someone shot you with a gun from my time, would you regenerate?

Some of these questions are more serious like you wanted! Hope this is good!

Sincerely,

Dave

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><p>Dear Dave,<p>

Before I answer these, I have to ask, **WHERE IN THE WORLD DO YOU COME UP WITH THESE QUESTIONS? **But I will gladly answer them.

1. It was her dumb decision. In my eyes, I have no idea why she did so. And about the shamwow thing… (In the next letter he explains that he was banging his head on the side of his TARDIS over the shamwow part) **HOW DID YOU COME UP WITH SHAMWOW?**

2. THEY ARE NOT CUTE STATUES, THEY ARE WEEPING ANGELS! **AND THEY DO NOT WANT TO HUG YOU THEY DO INDEED WANT TO MURDER YOU! **And I can guarantee as well that the Statue of Liberty will not make a nuclear missile either…

3. **THAT WOULD BE LIKE GIVING YOU ONE OF THOSE MARS CREATURES AS A PET! NO!**

4. (sigh…) Squid things? It's just their body. Nobody would take them serious because they would have no weapons or protective armor. (Again, a little stupid…)

5. Because the TARDIS is a living thing, thus it heals. And it does **NOT SEEMINGLY CATCH ON FIRE! **It was all by accident. No clumsiness in the process… Maybe a little….

6. First, **WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT? ** But it may depend on where I get shot. I've never tried that out and I never will…. No offense but I'd be worried if you were ever a time lord….

Although these questions were better, you still are a little weird, but that's just you I think.

Sincerely,

The Doctor

P.S – Ok, maybe it was my fault the TARDIS caught on fire a FEW of the times. JUST A FEW!

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><p>Now I really knew more of the Doctor. I was amazed at his powers, and yet amazed how odd he was too! I knew I had to write him back again! I just knew it!<p>

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><p>(<strong>REVIEWS!<strong>)


	5. THE BLOGILLMAN!

Letters to the Doctor

As I sat down at my desk I began to think. _What should I ask him?_ I thought. My brain started to feel like jelly after a while. I had some questions, but they were all too lame! I had to think of a good question that only the DOCTOR himself could answer. Then I thought about all the different creatures. Then it hit me. I would make a whole letter asking about those creatures (and one companion), and then I wrote with no trouble at all!

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><p>Dear Doctor,<p>

I have been thinking of what to write you and then it came to me to ask you about all the different creatures you run into. Here I go!

1. I was watching _The Time and the Rani_ the other day and I saw these weird bull things that looked like they came from a breed of monkeys, bulls, frogs, gorillas, and humans! **IT SCARED ME HALF TO DEATH! **WHAT WERE THOSE Blogillmans? (Bulls, Monkeys, Frogs, Gorillas, and Humans!)

2. In the Christmas Special right around the start of Series Three (the Runaway Bride), who was that annoying red head who enjoys constantly slapping you? I've only seen her once, and my sister says she wasn't that bad and she was almost as good as Rose. Is this true?

3. In the episode _New Earth_, there was this CRAZY, old, **HUGE **face that looked like a mixture of Jabba the Hut and one of the Navi (pardon the spelling) from Avatar! **WHAT WAS IT?**

4. What are those crazy rhino dudes that look like Shrek after his face got whipped 9000 times?

I hope I can hear back from you!

Sincerely,

Dave

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><p>Dear Dave,<p>

Thank you for another letter, but your comparisons of these creatures has made me bang my head on my tardis much harder than the time when you mentioned the last human looking like a "Sham Wow". But here are your answers!

1. Sadly, I know exactly what you are talking about (judging by your personality) and they're called Tetraps. They were a race of bestial humanoids from a planet called Tetrapyriarbus, NOT "Blogillimans"! **HOW IN THE WORLD DID YOU SEE ANY RESEMBLANCE OF A FROG IN A TETRAP ANYWAY?**

2. Her name was Donna Noble, and yes she did slap me a lot. She did get much better (and I find your statement rather offensive) but she reappeared much later.

3. Before I answer this, **HOW IN THE WORLD DOES THIS LOOK LIKE JABBA THE HUT? IT'S A FACE, NOT A BLOB!** It the Face of Boe, and he was the oldest known creature in the universe before he to save New York City. This **BOEKIND** could speak through telepathy, but only grunted out loud. Before he died, he told me that I was not alone in the year 5,000,000,053.

4. I will say the Rhino part was close to correct, but SHREK, a fictional character, who got **WHIPPED?** Although you seem smart you have a very peculiar imagination, Dave! But they were rhinocerid humanoids that were supposed to be a mercenary police force (but you can guess how that worked out!).

It was a pleasure talking to you again, Dave. I will hopefully get you that Fez soon.

Sincerely,

The Doctor

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><p>After that note, like after the others, I realized something; an epiphany! And what I came to realize- I wasn't getting the fez. :(<p>

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><p>(<strong>Review this or I will send a Blogillman after you!)<strong>


	6. A Good Man Goes To War

Letters to the Doctor

I sat down at my desk like I always do when I'm going to write the Doctor a letter, and I started to think of what to write like usual. I was tapping my pencil on my desk as I thought up questions. But the thing that was really on my mind was the latest Episode, _A Good Man Goes to War._ So that was exactly what I decided to write about!

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><p>Dear Doctor,<p>

It's me Dave again! I haven't written to you in a while, but I have some questions involving your recent episode _A Good Man Goes to War_. I understand you are travelling on your own for a while, so why not ask you now!

1. What was up with that Blue Headed Dude you wanted to have in your war? He looked like a human form of the genie in Aladdin!

2. WHAT IS WITH ALL THESE GANGERS? THEY ARE EVERYWHERE! And when they melt or whatever is that some sort of milk or something that they dissolve into?

3. HOW IS RIVER AMY AND RORIS DAUGHTER? HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE! IT'S SO WEIRD (yet I understand how her last name is song!)

4. The headless monks that you were fighting seemed to have cool lightsabers! Where do they get them exactly? Because I kind of want one next time my sister tells me it's a commercial! (long story)

5. Do you have a Flux Capacitor in your TARDIS? I really want to know about that!

That's basically all I have to ask about that episode (plus 1 extra question) I hope I can get to writing you sooner next time!

Sincerely,

Dave

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><p>Dear Dave,<p>

It's good to hear from you again! So nice to write back, too, although your personality is really peculiar! But who am I to blame you? Just look at me!

1. **THAT "Blue Headed Dude" is NOT just any "BLUE HEADED DUDE", his name is DORIUM MALDOVAR!** He owed me a debt and I "cashed that in" and had him help me in the war where he tried to reason the monks who well… cut off his head.

2. I'D LIKE TO KNOW THE EXACT SAME QUESTION! And Come on… Use Some Common Sense! They don't turn into milk! I'm not positive what it is but I'm 90% sure it is some sort of acid.

3. That, my friend, will be revealed later. It is your mystery.

4. They are not **LIGHTSABERS**! Those are from a fictional movie with NO way of seeming realistic! What kind of Movie or TV Show could pass as good being unrealistic? And no, Dave, from my knowledge of you I can't trust you with a sword like that, so I will just keep with giving you a fez.

5. **HA!** Flux Capacitor! That was old school! I eat those for breakfast! (with custard) The answer is no, my friend. I have cooler and more advanced equipment.

Thank you for the questions! Hope to respond to your wacky and weird questions soon!

Sincerely,

The Doctor

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><p>After reading this, I just burst out laughing. I think the Doctor dissed his own show! Regardless, he still keeps up with the whole fez thing. A feeling tells me now I will get the fez, but it will be another year or so.<p>

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><p><strong>REVIEW TIME!<strong>


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